it's amazing how bad it feels when your happieness is just killed. I finally felt like things where okay, I had someone who cared about me and thought i was amazing not b/c they wanted in my pants but b/c thats what they really thought of me and now I don't know if I ever wanna speak to them again. not by any fault of their own, but b/c my mother has made it very clear it's a bad idea in her mind and i know i shouldnt let her stupidity inhibite my happieness, but theres just that gut renching feeling. its almost as if she wants me to be unhappy with her.....missery loves company. for some reason i want her to tell me it's all okay, that my friendship is okay. it will never be in her mind and now im scared that it's not okay. it's the first time in sooo long i've felt like things where looking up and now they've all shot to hell..again. maybe someday she'll realize im not the girl she thinks I am and that shes not trust worthy.